It’s all about the preparation for me. The setting up. The desk, the writing instruments (of which I am very picky), the paper, the online programs, the candle, the coffee, the lighting, the chair, the books…oh, so many, books!
The writing? Not so much. Recognizing that you have a problem is the beginning of healing, right? That’s where my life coach stepped in. She agreed that I love the setting up more than the actual time spent writing. She has known me for 20+ years so she never acts surprised when I have an ah-ha moment that she recognized a bazillion years ago. Her job is to make suggestions to get me from and through the setup to the actual writing.
And it’s not just the writing. I have all the cute walking shoes, socks, sports bras, and coordinated walking attire. I have the earbuds, the Apple Watch, the headbands, and stainless-steel water bottles. Getting out and hitting the pavement or driving to the gym is another story.
Another ah-ha moment for me, but not my coach, was that this is allllll about control. I can control my writing environment and the setup for walking and driving to the gym. But once I am doing the actual thing…working out, for example, it’s not so controllable. My breath, my achy joints, and my arthritis-ridden foot. And that horrible, “Is everyone looking at me while I struggle?” To be fair, most folks at our gym are my age and older, much older so that is a no. And the writing? Listen, y’all have no idea the things I DON’T write about. (My long-time girlfriends are rolling their eyes right now because they know I keep a lot in that they wish I would let out!) Again, it is control. And fear.
So how do we get from the place of wanting total control of whatever situation or environment we are in to doing the thing? For me, it is allowing myself to do the prep and the set-up, but only for a certain amount of time. The preparation and set-up are my cue for the behavior/habit I want. Walking and going to the gym? I set everything up the night before. Including getting my water bottle out, packing up my gym bag, right down to the socks I am going to wear. It’s a visual cue for me when I get up in the morning and one excuse I can’t use to not walk or go to the gym. And I’ve set up a “stupid easy” goal to continue with the habit of walking and gym time: A total of 12 days of walking and/or gym time. That’s it for the month. Stupid easy. Every day I do one or both of those things, I put a star in my calendar for that date. I do something similar with my writing: I sit down and open my laptop and write three sentences. Whether I publish them anywhere or not, I’ve written at least three sentences and, like this post, much more. And I put a purple star on my calendar for that day. My stupid easy goal is to write three sentences, four days a week. No pressure to publish, just write the thing. This has taken a ton of pressure off me. The reward? Not only are my stars and goals met, but I feel better physically and mentally when I am exercising regularly and there is that satisfaction I feel when I push past my fear to share and I hit that publish button. Your goals and behaviors and rewards will be different than mine, but I hope I have given you some ideas on how to start a new habit journey.
Let’s talk about it in the comments.
And if you are looking for a life coach, my bestie, Beth Davis at Fresh Focus Coaching, is the best!
susanwheelersmith.com 