God has thrown me a bit of a curveball and I’m kind of laughing about it this morning. I laugh because it has taken me a while to realize it is a new direction, even as I have been walking the new path He laid out in front of me. I’ve always been a bigger picture person and the minutia is where I often get tripped up. Not that I’m not always trying to figure out the minutia; or better or faster minutia moves, because I always am. If I want to do this…I’m always looking for ways to do it faster; get there faster; or better yet, get someone to do it for me.
I’ve always struggled with what God wants me to be doing. Whether it is writing or going back to school or which day will work best to get my hair done, I’ve always wanted (and sometimes demanded) a flashing green neon sign to point me in the right direction. Specifically, His direction. One day, He gave me just that, but I will tell that story another time, probably soonish. As I have been wrestling with some things I want to do, think I should be doing, and think He wants me to be doing, I realized that my story about the flashing green neon sign keeps coming up in my conversations with people. A friend mentioned recently that she doesn’t know what direction to take so I told her about my flashing green neon sign. A long-time friend brought up not knowing what to do regarding an adult child and I told her about my flashing green neon sign. In Bible Study this week we were talking about prayer, and I kept feeling the urge (or prompting) to tell the story about my flashing green neon sign. (I didn’t, by the way, because it is lengthy.)
This morning, as I sat down to flip open my laptop (which wouldn’t start, and which has been an issue since I purchased it two years ago), reached for my journal, bible study material, Bible, and favorite purple pen, it dawned on me. As I was trying to figure out what I should be doing right now, I realized I was already doing it. The flashing green neon sign kept, well, flashing into my mind and stories because hello…this is what I am supposed to be doing. Exactly what I have already been doing for months. I tell you this snippet of the life of Susan who is always searching for what she should be doing because maybe you, too, are doing precisely what you are supposed to be doing. The discontent, searching, and questioning, may just be the enemy trying to distract you (and me) from the very good thing you (we) are currently doing. It may seem small, inconsequential, not grand enough, to you. It wasn’t for me, at first glance. But as the thought developed this morning, and I walked back through the last three years, I recognized the pattern of (often begrudging) obedience and subsequent joy in the path I have been on. Paths don’t have to lead to worldly greatness. And probably often shouldn’t in order to make the greatest impact. Most of us aren’t called, I think, to make a huge visible splash in the world but to make an unstoppable wave in the very real lives we touch on a day-to-day basis. The lives of our spouses, our children, our parents, our siblings, our church family, the cashier behind the counter, the unknown saint who will come to the local donation center and collect and take home our gently used donation, the idiot we allow to pull in last minute in front of us on the road. These little ripples we send out turn into a wave effect that we may (mostly definitely won’t) see or hear about on this side of Heaven.
Take a moment and think back to the experiences you have had/made in the last year or so. Mine includes a whole lot of family time especially leading up to the death of my Mom two years ago this coming November. And continues now with spending a lot of time with dad, my sister, my husband (who is now retired and has, thankfully, found the distraction that is pickleball in his life), and our lots of (they may say too much) time with our adult kiddos. Because, and this really was made clear to our family in 2011 when our Andy died unexpectedly at the age of 22, we are running out of time. Think about it. Even if we have 20, 30, or 40 years left on this earth are we going to come to the end of our lives and say, “Whew, I’m glad that’s over and why did it drag on for so long?” Probably not. More time is what I am already thinking I will want. So, because that is not up to me and only God knows the number of my days, I am making the most of this time. Refusing to hide. Okay, if you know me, I do still hide because it’s in my DNA as a certified introvert turned extrovert with introvert tendencies. But now…I tell the story (except for the one you really want to hear about the flashing green neon sign…soon. I promise), I share the encouragement, I help the needy of help, even if it is the extremely slow person driving in front of me…I help them with the look of frustration I give them as I blow by them at the earliest opportunity, that says, “Do better!” Side note. Shout out to the Vinton police officer who didn’t pull me over when I blew by the person doing 23 in a 30 and then had to slam on my breaks when I saw him running radar. Thank you for just flashing your blue lights at me and giving me a little wave as I went by. Trust me, you are all prayed up over because I prayed for you and thanked God for you the entire way home.
Stop wasting time looking for the other thing when you have a great thing going on right now. That’s what God has been telling me for a while now and this morning, I finally recognized it.
What great little things are you faithful about right now? The ones that feel monotonous and not so grand, but you are doing them anyway.
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