Sometimes, Life Just Sucks.

I started this on Random Wednesday, aka Wicked Wednesday.

I have been so torn lately.

Why am I writing this blog? For myself?

For my many five readers?

Why do I read other blogs? Do I want to be entertained? I mean I live with Sue’s Zoo: The Man; two teenagers; one tween; five psychotic fish that follow us around the room from within their tank; one ancient, completely blind and deaf dog who eats her own (and the other dog’s) poop; a ginormous German shepherd/lapdog; and a 7 pound cat who really runs the show.

How much more entertainment can I take?

Do I desire connections? Am I just down-right nosey?

I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I do know that in participating in the blogging world…writing…reading…connecting…I have discovered just how painful life truly can be. The problems and trials that I have, while significant to me, are walks-in-the-park compared to the nightmares, tragedies, and horrors I have come across on other blogs.

So I have to wonder. Why DO I blog? Is it a God thing? Is He leading me to certain people and their blogs?

I think He is.

He and I ‘discussed’ it this morning.

Because I’ve really been struggling with the burdens of those I have come to know in Blogville.

Really struggling.

As in thinking it is time to hang up my computer and quit the blogging world.

But he led me down a path this morning that really spoke to me on this subject. Yes, life can be so very horrible at times, but I am to continue to be joyful. I am to continue to be thankful for each and every daggone blessing He has seen fit to give me. And they are plentiful. I know, because I’ve been making myself name ten every morning, just to keep my sanity perspective.

Then there is His Living Word.

Nehemiah 8:10: Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength

Esther 9:22: when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration

Job 6:10: Then I would still have this consolation— my joy in unrelenting pain

Psalm 30:11: You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

Psalm 126:5-6: Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him

And tons more.

I couldn’t find any scripture that told me to not grieve; not feel sad; not weep with my sisters in Christ. To the contrary. But I can not let it impact me to the point where I can no longer function in the ways He has called me to. I must remember the Joy that is Jesus Christ. Always. Forever. Never changing…

no, not ever

So now my choice is this: Do I, having heard from Him, now disobey Him by turning away from what He has called me to do? Or do I stay on this path, determined to find the Joy in the sorrow?

That Girl would have walked away.

This Girl has to choose to stay.

Hard as it may be sometimes.

Praying that He will remind me of the Joy that is mine in Him.

And having to accept that sometimes, life just sucks.

No Pain, No Gain.

Just a quick post this morning.

Have you ever gone through a situation that was painful, shameful, horror-filled even? And were later able to Thank God for it? Even if it was years later?

God reminded me this morning that things I experienced, lived through, survived were allowed by Him. Not because He wanted me to be in pain, to carry guilt, to suffer. But to use those experiences to bring me closer to Him, in every way.

And, just as importantly, so that I would be able to help our children in ways I never would have been able to recognize if I hadn’t been there…done that.

I thanked Him this morning for the pain. The guilt and shame I carried with me for years. The horror I still, in the darkness of the night, see and feel…

but now I know that He is there
to shield me
shelter me
save me

Thank You, Father.

For every single piece of it.

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops patience, endurance. James 1:2-3.