Anyone else reflecting on how 2018 went down? I’ve been thinking about it a lot as it comes to a close. My journaling time in the morning has been one of a lot of sitting in front of the blank page, pencil in hand, just listening for and to the quiet Voice in my heart that talks to me about the important things. The things that I need to let matter; and the things that really irritate the hell out of me that I need to let go. Twenty-eighteen has been a whole lot of irritants and in the past, I would have handled things a lot differently. But guess what? I am pushing 58 years on this Earth and I’ve learned a few things. Here are a few, in no particular, very chatty order.

I love coffee. And I’m not getting rid of it in my life. (No, God has not told me to let coffee go, by the way.) There are a lot of other things I do love, that I have and continue to clean out of my life. But coffee ain’t one that’s going anywhere. Learning to love it without sugar…that is doable. Giving up the real, dairy-laden, cream? Nope. Cutting back on it because it does tend to irritate my gut? Begrudgingly, yes.

You can’t out exercise a poor diet. As I’ve gotten back into working out (more) regularly, and I’m not seeing the results I’m working hard towards, I’ve finally had to admit this is true. And eating crappy food leads to crappy workouts and not having the mental and physical desire to work out. Having a food plan and an exercise plan is key for me. Now, if I could just stick with them. #discipline #howbaddoyouwantit

As much as I love the “ber” months, I’m looking forward to January. And I’ve come to realize I have always done so. After the hustle and bustle, over-consumption of all the food and things, I’m ready to settle in and enjoy the quiet and the coziness of winter. I’m thankful that we have a fireplace, a safe, warm place to live, family and friends to share with, and the months of January and February in a climate that encourages us to enjoy the indoors. As I was writing this post this morning, I ran across a short piece written by Venice Wyatt that I shared on my facebook page that exactly explained what I was feeling and thinking.

Having said all of that. I’m not wishing away December. I’m settling in and enjoying our oh-so-not-perfect-but-absolutely-perfect Christmas tree. I’m (trying) to let go of the OCD that keeps clawing it’s way to the surface of my brain, and letting things (and myself) just be. My house has been a constant state of cleaning out, packing up, moving stuff out, mess. Shawn and I have been going through things (he has replaced the decluttering queens in my life, Susan D. and Leeann A.) and he encourages me to just let it go. Brett and Rachel were home for Thanksgiving and we pretty much put our hands on every single thing down in the basement. There were very few things that any of the kiddos wanted, and after running everything through several tests (do I love it? is it connected with someone I love? does it hold an irreplaceable memory? can I replace it if I really wanted to? and oh yeah, do I really love it?), I let go of a lot of things. But yesterday I was wandering through (in my mind) what was in each box down there and I realized I have more to let go of.

Letting go. I feel like that has been my mantra this year. I’ve had to let go of toxic relationships, dreams that I’ve clung to that I’ve realized have been replaced by even better realities, habits that are nothing but destructive, attitudes that I thought were just who I was and couldn’t be released (but can!). Letting go always had such negative feels for me in the past but now…letting go has equaled freedom. Freedoms in ways I never, ever imagined possible. More on that as we move into the New Year, but let me just leave you with this: don’t be afraid to let go. Letting go of one thing opens up a million possibilities for good things, better things, permanent things.

See Y’all soon.

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