Christmas reflections.

So I might have been a tad depressed in the two weeks or so leading up to Christmas. I really, truly appreciate everyone’s support during that time. I suppose it was weird to y’all that I took the death of The Wild Boy’s fellow Spartan so hard. I think putting into words for you why, will help me sort it out also.

I knew what his family was going through. Having lost a child so suddenly in our family, anytime I hear of the loss of a child, the memories of the first night Andy died and the days and weeks following, all come rushing back. It is no secret to any regular This Girl readers (all 10 of you now!) that I suffer from a wicked case of OCD at the best of times. Imagine the obsessive thought cycle of a horrific loss.

The shock, the why, the what-if and if-only…our family knows it. Our family also knows the love. The people who called, came by, sent cards, sent food…not just to my sister but to all of us. My church family and friends did all of that for me and my family. They would catch me when I wasn’t running back and forth to Roanoke. They brought food for my people at home while I spent a week in Roanoke being with my sister and parents. It matters. You may think that your card, your phone call, your casserole or cake doesn’t. But, it does matter. I can’t begin to tell you how much. I still have all of your cards and notes and I have read through all of them. About a year later, but I did it. And I’ve kept them.

So, yeah. I did lose about a week of Christmas Joy. Not that I was wallowing in depression, but just wasn’t into the whole Christmas thing. I helped the Stevens family as best I could. And then I had to pull my head together and get back to my own family. There was a lot of rushing around the last few days before Christmas. But it was a blast. My Man did a bunch of last minute shopping for me. He wrapped every single present for the kids and I only had to wrap his and my family’s. He and I surprised my mom, dad and sister by showing up at their doors the morning after Christmas and it was good to spend a couple of days with them.

We came home to a group of The Big Boy’s Longwood buddies and had a great time catching up on their lives. It turned out to be a great Christmas. Like it always does. I’m ready for the New Year. New goals, new plans and new lists. Change is good, y’all, but just to be clear…getting rid of coffee is not on any of my lists. Nor is getting rid of any of my lists. You will just have to suffer through like the rest of my family.

Love you guys.

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