Yesterday, The Big Boy (we are so over his graduation and he is now back to The Big Boy) and I headed out a bit after 7:00 a.m. for a quick trip to Roanoke. We hit the grocery store, Subway (bleck) and Starbucks and got on the road. At 7:00 p.m. we were on the parkway and just a few minutes from home.
But oh, so worth it.
We took a truckload of furniture and accessories to a friend of my sister’s who has fled her home, state and region of the country to safety on this coast. With three children. I cannot even begin to imagine the type of physical abuse that would require doing that. I was able to meet her yesterday and she had such a beautiful smile and happy spirit…safety and love from complete strangers will do that to a person, apparently.
And there’s the lesson for this Christmas, I think. For me, in any case.
Somewhere north of Harrisonburg, on the way home, I had myself a royal breakdown cry fest for my own pain and hurt and sorry self and than I was done with it and moved on.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry.
*that was for me…I was never a cryer until one day I cried and cried and scared the holy heck out of my children and decided I had to let them know it was okay to cry when hurt. Before, you know, it all came out On The Couch during a therapy session where all of their problems in life are blamed on the Momma. Apparently I succeeded as we always know what My Girl is thinking and feeling*
As this month has moved on at a rapid rate, and I have run out of time to buy everything I wanted to buy and do everything I wanted to do, this day trip is just what the doctor ordered. I chose to live in the moment, enjoy the time with Shawn and with my family. I could have focused on all of my have nots…extra money, extra time, a clean and orderly house, Katie, Beth, Flo and Andy…and I am able to name all of that so quickly because I actually was focusing on all of that earlier this week…but I am choosing to get over myself and my pain and hurt and wants and focus on what I do have…a great husband, hilarious and healthy children, my parents and sister and her girls, friends, a warm home…I truly could go on for paragraphs.
My royal cry fest on the way home was a release…mourning my sister’s continued grief as well as my own…and that’s okay, I think. Some days are easier than others. Some days the tears last longer than other days.
Helping a complete stranger, however, truly made me feel good. I don’t mean that in an “all about me way” in the least. I mean in an “all about someone else, thank God” way. Able to take my eyes off myself and put them on someone who is in true need.
Our hurt and pain lingers; always will. So very thankful, though, to be able to help someone else and I hope God continues to choose to put people in need in my life…keeping my focus on Him and all that He has blessed us with.
But I sure do miss these four.
Love you guys!