What is normal?

Definition of NORMAL, according to Merriam-Webster: 2 a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; 3: occurring naturally; 4 a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b : free from mental disorder : sane.

I’ve been thinking it is time for me to “get back to normal” after a really crappy two years. I think that has been part of my whole “it’s a revolution, not a resolution” thing for 2012. But I have a confession to make: I don’t remember what “normal” looks like.

Normal might be sleeping through the night and waking up to an alarm clock. Or normal could be sleeping on and off; tossing and turning; waking up long before hearing any alarm and saying, “what the heck…might as well get up…it’s almost 5:00 anyway.”

Normal might be having a basic cleaning schedule that one follows during the week thus keeping one’s home fairly picked up and wiped down at any given time. Or normal could be obsessing about getting each bathroom spotless, several days a week, or pulling everything out of the linen closet to reorganize. Again. All while the dust bunnies take over in the living room and the rest of the house.

Normal might be having a comfy and decorated living room with a warm area rug underfoot lit by the soft glow of a cozy gas fireplace. Or normal could be a multi-teenage bottom plop spot with kitty claw marks, a beloved grandmother’s chair with the stuffing coming out of the bottom, cold hard wood floors underneath, gas log fireplace guts spewed out on the floor, but shiny new trucks and Jeeps sitting in the driveway. (This one’s for you, honey.) *I’m trying not to be too bitter*

Normal might be sitting down to eat, most evenings, at a candle-lit dining room table, using the regular dinner china or even the “good china” on occasion. Or normal could be tv trays set up in the living room, eating off of paper plates while watching NCIS. Every night.

Normal might be a dedicated quiet time, prayer time, journal writing time every morning, while waiting for the beginnings of a fiery glow to appear through the back door, announcing the sun is indeed going to rise again thus assuring the promise that is a new day. Or normal could be sitting in Mamie’s chair, staring at a blank journal page, opening and closing a devotional and a bible, jumping up and down to refill a coffee mug and switch out the laundry and finally just closing it all up and walking away.

Normal might be a young girl, engaged to an exceptional young man, planning her wedding; day dreaming of the day she will run her own household and have children. Or normal could be the unlikely appearance of an Angel announcing the imminent arrival of the Savior of the World, to a virgin and her betrothed.

My point is…normal is just a word that we cling to when our world has been turned upside down. We’ve tossed around the phrase “new normal” for several years now, beginning with the loss of bff, Beth. I don’t use that term very much anymore. It’s not “normal,” new or otherwise, to lose a 48 year old mom and wife. It’s not “normal,” by any stretch of the imagination, to lose a beloved son/grandson/nephew/
cousin at the age of 22. It’s NOT normal. But it is life. It is our life. I’m not going to make any apologies or excuses for how we are now living it.

It just is what it is.

Love you guys.

3 thoughts on “What is normal?

  1. I often wonder the same! Normal? What is that? And the new normal? Don't like it! But, it is what it is, and yes, we wake up every day, to a new day, and realize, it's another day realizing my precious boy is gone from this world, no more 9 pm phone calls to check in with Mom, no more dancing around in his boxers making us all laugh out loud! No more racing the engine in his Trans Am to let me know he's home, no more staring at himself in the mirror flexing his enormous muscles….lol! But you do know what we have, all of these wonderful memories that make me smile, laugh and cry! Bonus….I have twin 19 yr old daughters that are beautiful and full of life with tons of life to live! Many memories to provide to their Mom for years to come! This is my new normal….

  2. Agree…have run across a ton of pictures of Andy and the girls that you had sent to Katie and Alvin over the years…all the “good” pics, of course. I cling to our memories of Andy, Beth, Katie, all of them. And I'm thankful and totally aware of the blessings we have left…Court, Minz, Sarah, Shawn & Brett. Thankfully, that have not been left totally crippled by the losses.

  3. Wow, just read this first off Sue you should be a writer:-) What is normal, I say I want that, but then i realize everyone has a different normal and all these things happen in our lives to teach us things and to help others that go through the same stuff. I think us as women are lucky because we have girlfriends that we talk to and you get to find out, wow you are going through the same stuff or WOW I like my “normal” life. You guys are great Merry Christmas to the both of you!


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