MY LIFE. Where do I begin?
God is doing a number on me. And while it is painful, frustrating, frightening, and often annoying (that is so me), it is good. Good, I tell you (or keep telling myself).
In the grand scheme of things, I’m a spoiled rotten brat. I have an amazing husband whom I also still think is DDG (drop dead gorgeous). Three incredibly brilliant, albeit underachieving, children that run me ragged and make my heart swell and my eyes tear every time I think of them. Well, when I’m not ready to throttle one of them.
Family, friends…all of the important things.
And they have all become oh, so much more important with the recent diagnosis of my friend Beth.
Nothing like seeing a loved-one stare into the face of death to put things into perspective for you.
So, here are a few things that
I have decided God has made clear to me:
:: I don’t care WHO you are…if I love you, I’m going to tell you so. None of this half-hearted crap anymore. No more being afraid of what you will think. I don’t really care what you think. Well, of course I do…but you know what I mean.
:: I am no longer going to be afraid. Period. God created me to be a warrior. To fight. Not to fear. I’m sick of being afraid. I have missed out on so very much because I was afraid. And that includes flying. That’s right. FLYING. I still may need a handful of Dramamine washed down by a little bottle of my good buddy Jack, but I’m gettin’ on that plane.
:: I am going to worship. I am going to lift my arms high and praise Him if I feel led to. I am going to sing out my praise as loudly as I dern-well want to. And I’m not going to be afraid of what anyone else is thinking or doing. He wants to hear and see my praise. He created me to praise.
:: And I am getting back up there on that praise team. Not right this second, but I am. Maybe not for awhile. But I will. And it’s not because I’m afraid. It truly isn’t. But I do need to practice and toughen up these now-non-calloused-finger-tips.
:: I am going to love my husband like nobody’s bidness. He is going to know I love him even in the midst of me wanting to kill him. Cuz let’s be real. Sometimes you really do just want to put a major smack down on your spouse.
:: I’m going to start doing some of the things I want to do but just haven’t done or been doing for whatever reason. No real examples of that right now and I don’t mean it in a selfish way. Maybe I’ve just been too afraid.
:: I am going to have joy in this life. The joy that can only come from the Lord, My God. No, this is not my home. I am just passing through. Very rapidly, I might add. But I am going to have joy here, while longing for my one true home.
That is all.
Love you guys like crazy.