So, as much as I’m mourning our oldest child going off to college this Fall (not that I’ve shared it with y’all…lol), I’ve become very impatient waiting final notification from his first choice, CNU. So many of his friends have already received their letters…most of them denials, by the way…I have been itchin’ for his to come in the mail. CNU, daggone it, doesn’t post their decisions online. I think it’s all part of their plan to help the parents get used to NOT knowing what is going on in the lives of their children at college. Breaking us in.
It’s killing me.
So I mentioned it to God this morning. Most respectively, but I did tell Him that I just gotta know. So I knew, without a doubt, that when I checked the mail there would be nothing from CNU. So clearly this morning, I knew He told me over and over, “not YOUR time, Susan…MY time.”
Why? I dunno.
Actually, I think it is because there are folks there that really want him. (Well…excuse me, but who WOULDN’T???…lol) Seriously, he met with some of the professors there and they e-mailed the admissions office recommending him for admission. ‘Course, there is the fact that HE didn’t do what he knew he had to do…get big time grades the first semester. So, as The Man keeps telling me…we all did all that we could to help him, and he took it into his own hands, so whatever happens…happens.
Here’s the part that I’m hating though. The NOT knowing. Yes, it’s true…I’m a huge control freak. Which is why I am positive that God is helping me to learn some patience. I don’t do patience well. Never have. And it’s not something that you can just ask for and be granted. Nope…there’s some suffering that goes along with that request. The suffering and lesson of actually having to wait on something you really want…learning to be patient.
I’m not sure I’m ever going to totally get it. Oh, I get that it is His timing and not my timing. And I get that He is in control and I’m not.
But I don’t like it.
Not one bit.