Today’s lesson in Stepping Up is Psalm 123. Contempt. Disrespect.
1 I lift up my eyes to you,
to you whose throne is in heaven.
2 As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the LORD our God,
till he shows us his mercy.
3 Have mercy on us, O LORD, have mercy on us,
for we have endured much contempt.
4 We have endured much ridicule from the proud,
much contempt from the arrogant.
When I dropped The Man off at the Metro station this morning (snow, ice, broken down vehicle at the shop), he asked me what I was going to do today. I had gotten my office work together yesterday so that I wouldn’t have to go in today if I so chose. I was a day behind in my bible study. A day or two behind in my 90 Days with David. And I need an attitude change. All of which I told The Man I would be working on this morning. The kids are on two hour delay for school due to the road conditions. I knew the house would be warm. Silent. Comforting. Perfect.
I had to write my own Psalm 123 at the end of today’s lesson. I let God’s words to me flow from my (purple) pen onto the paper.
Father, please forgive me for treating The Man with such disrespect. Even contempt. As if he doesn’t matter. As less than another. As less than me. Please change my heart on this. Show me how to love him and treat him with respect. To show him he is important to me. Please, Father.
It is because I have no respect for myself, isn’t it? Not an excuse, an observation. It’s a sin, this self-loathing. Lack of respect for self. It is a sin. Because I am Your child. I am loved. By You. I am worthy. Because of Your love for me. Your joy in me. I am one of Your chosen. As is my husband. Our children.
It’s all about me again, isn’t it?
I hate that.