Self-Talk

It’s been All Volleyball, All the Time here. And it has paid off…

Lucy’s varsity team won the District Championship last night. And if that wasn’t sweet enough, Lucy was named to the All Tournament Team.

Not bad for a girl who rode the bench most of the season because she couldn’t keep her emotions in check. Her playing ability was never the question. Her team play was never a problem.

It was her self-talk.

This…thing (for lack of a better word) with Lucy has consumed me. I have prayed. And I mean PRAYED about this. Prayed and ranted and wailed and begged and prayed again. Not about the volleyball. Volleyball has just been the vehicle. Her self-talk has been the driver.

The past few weeks, I have felt that He wanted me to really be specific and open and honest with Him. And I was. Brutally.

Did He need me to instruct Him on how to build her confidence? How to get her turned around?

No.

But He wanted to hear from me. He wanted to know my heart. My thoughts. My own self-talk.

And there we are.

It’s that realization that has driven me to my knees (and often on my face) in prayer to Him. Begging Him to NOT put Lucy through what I have gone through over the years. The self-hate self-talk. The “you can’t do that” talk. The “you’ll never succeed” talk. The “you messed up and let everyone down” talk.
Lucy doesn’t hear my self-talk. But does she see it in me? I think she does. I know she does.

And that is why I’m convinced we have all gone through this season. Looking back I smile about it, laugh out loud about it, cry in Joy about it. It has been SOOOO good. So very difficult, but soooo good. And that is exactly what God wants us to do!

The change in Lucy has been unbelievable. I’ve been telling The Man that I just don’t want us, including Lucy, to miss what this is about. That this is something Important. Big. Huge. We can’t miss it. The siblings have seen the change in her. Our youngest saw it last night (“I never knew volleyball was so exciting!”). Both of them have been getting along with her…dare I say even LIKING her??

Nope. I don’t think we’re gonna miss it. He’s not going to let us.

2 thoughts on “Self-Talk

  1. So much of what God has to teach me He does through my kids or how I feel about my kids or how I feel about what I see of myself in my kids! Thanking Him for your answers to prayer and congratulations on your team win.Kathy

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s