Hard to believe we are here again…heading into the ‘ber’ months.
I’m currently sitting on the porch, avoiding all of the piles of stuff and work that needs to be done/continued in the house. Yesterday, Sunday, the Sabbath, or day of rest, I pretty much did just that: rested. Or avoided, maybe.
I don’t know about you, but 2020 has finally caught up with me. I realized it this morning as I sat down to journal, work on bible study and attempt to pray and meditate, neither of which came. I haven’t been able to wipe my mind clear for a long, long time now. The kind of wiping that frees me to focus on the blessings and the needs; to put them into heart words that only He can hear; to listen for and hear that Small Still Voice of the One who loves my soul.
Maybe you have been there, too. Maybe you are currently. It’s not just the COVID, the lockdown of our lives, and the political climate. Those things are constantly in my face and on my mind. It’s the other life things that continue on that seem to be holding onto me and clogging my brain with webbing so that sometimes I just want to scream, LET ME GO. Let me go so that I can think clearly, get back to walking every morning, stop snipping at my husband when he cheerfully hollers out (if you know him, you know he has what I am now referring to as an “enthusiastic” voice), “good morning!”
Today, as I stared out at the raindrops breaking up the smooth lake surface, I finally found some relief. Well, it found me, is probably more accurate. All I needed to do was just cut the damn strings that were keeping me tied down. Sounds so easy, right? Why was I letting it all weigh me down? I had fallen away from my usual morning routine was the main problem. Instead of getting out of bed early, I was lingering, letting my mind wander to worry, frustration, and worse yet: checking my phone first thing.
I know better.
Which brings me back to my favorite time of year: September, October, November, and December. I had almost forgotten about my September 1 tradition:
1. Go through current journal, update the table of contents (if I have one going…sometimes I do; sometimes not), adding page numbers and highlights.
2. Pull out a new journal and get it set up (numbering pages, Table of Contents page, prayer page usually. Sometimes I add books I want to read; special projects I want to work on and a plan for those; a loose outline of how I want (hope?) the quarter and seasons and year to flow; pull my Christmas list off my phone and onto paper; subjects/themes I want to write about; etc.
3. Update my planner for the last part of the time after Pentecost, also known as Ordinary Time in the liturgical calendar.
4. Order my new planner which begins on the first Sunday of Advent.
5. Use the Prayer of Examen (become aware of God’s presence; look back with gratitude/giving thanks; honestly reflect on where I am, where I need to be; pray about what He brings to light from my reflections; determine/pray about what I need to do going forward) to reflect on the last few months and prepare for the upcoming months.
6. Update my cleaning schedule. Or, in this case, create a completely new one since I have yet to do that for the new house.
Packing up and moving from our home of 26 years to a new home took a lot out of me, mentally. I embraced the physical part of it…but mentally…emotionally…I haven’t really dealt with that as I should and I think that is part of the cutting away of what has been holding me down. I’ll be working on a path for that, also. Getting back to what I know works for me because it has done so year after year, begins tomorrow.
The ‘ber’ months: welcome.