Recently I have gone on extended lunch dates with several long-time friends, and one of the topics that kept coming up was feeling rejected and subsequently unloved, or at least loved less. Less loved? Either way, it got me thinking, and I realized that although I am more of an introvert, content to be by myself to read, write, shop, pretty much most things, I also have felt the sting of rejection lately and I decided to write through it.
Not surprisingly, the bulk of my friends are around my age, with similar life circumstances happening. Our children are adults. Some still live at home; most don’t. Our parents are older and dealing with health issues. Oh, and so are we. We are involved in marrying off our children and each other’s children. Sometimes those two overlap, by the way. Some are lucky enough (not me…get on it, Smith children), to be grandparents or will soon be for the first time. We are talking about, if not actually, retiring. Basically, we all have a lot going on in our lives. It may seem like we are being rejected, but honestly, I think we are all just busy. In any case, here are some thoughts/ideas I had that will hopefully encourage you, and me.
- Even if you are an introvert, don’t get so comfy with your oneness that you don’t reach out to others. A text, a call, an invite to lunch. It will be good for you, too.
- Speak up. If you feel left out, say something. Chances are it was an oversight or an “I meant to call you,” or maybe you’ve said no so many times your people have just given up asking? It happens.
- Push through your comfort zone and do something new. Russell and I have recently begun attending a new church on Sunday mornings, after 25+ years. Even as full-blown adults, it was a tad intimidating but also exciting. Change is good, people.
- As I mentioned in a previous post, I joined a writing group last month. I had been stalking the edges of the group for a while now and finally decided to jump in. Now, not only am I part of the big group, but I’m also part of a smaller writing circle through the bigger group that is just the six of us. We’ve just begun to introduce ourselves and get to know one another. Already my heart is happy when I see a post or a message from one of the sweet woman in our small circle.
- Read up on how much the Lover of your soul loves you. A couple to get you started feeling loved:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
For God so loved that world that He gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
If (when?) you feel rejected, be reminded that the God of the universe knows you and loves you and created you.
Chat with Y’all soon!