Is it the proverbial “writer’s block?” Or is it something more. *that was a statement, not a question*
A few months ago, I knew it was time for me to get back on track with some things God wanted me to be doing. Writing, one of them. Exercise, another.
Instead, I chose to focus on what I thought was my To Do List: go through, organize, and purge all of the not-my-stuff stuff in my house. And when I say focus on…I’m putting it lightly. Obsessed with it, was more like it.
And I have done a number on all of that stuff. And I’m pretty pleased with my tenacity about it.
But I’ve lost some blessings over it, I know for sure.
My writing has completely tanked. I’ve got tons to say, but when I sit down to actually put it on paper (in my journal) or type it up (for my blog)…I’ve got…nothing.
Just sitting down to type up this post is torturous. The words don’t flow. They are stymied and halted and I feel like it is all disjointed and not what I really want to say.
I think, by disobeying what I knew I was supposed to be doing, I have now missed out on the blessing that has been my ability to write. Hopefully, just for a time. Maybe forever. And I am sad about it. Which is hilarious to me because I’ve always fought it. I’ve never wanted to write…to bare my soul to the opinions and criticisms of others. I’ve always cared too much for what anyone would think or say about my writing. And the hilarious part to me is that now I don’t care much at all about what anyone thinks or says about my writing. I am finally writing for me and me alone.
The exercise and eating thing…seriously paying for that disobedience! Walking with my walking therapy buddy, Annette, has been pure torture, physically. I totally subscribe to the no pain, no gain philosophy but this is brutal.
I suppose the point of this entire post is to remind myself, and to convince you, to “just do it.” Do what you know you are supposed to do. Be obedient to the whispers in your heart that you know are of God and just get on with it.
Or you, too, might miss out on some major blessings.