Wallowing in the Darkness

Remember this? I’ve so been wallowing in it.

I’m not really sure why. I get the impression that God just sorta sat back and watched me to see what I would do. I know He was still with me. All I had to do was call. But I had no desire to call.

I thought about the following things…

Am I afraid of what He has lined up for me to do? I don’t feel afraid, surprisingly.

Am I up to what He has for me to do? If it is really His will…He will give me all I need to accomplish it.

Will I recognize His voice? I’m not always sure that 1) I hear Him; 2) that I recognize His voice; 3) That I really understand what He wants me to do.

So, I guess my question to all of you is…how do you know.? Know without doubting. Or do you know without doubting?

I feel like I’m getting back on track now.

Our Pastor (my boss) is going on Study Leave/Sabbatical for a month beginning Monday morning. I, too, am thinking of this as a Sabbatical (a time of rest, restoration, refreshment).

On Monday, I’m going to renew my love affair with exercising. And water.

And I am completely going to immerse myself in the Word. The kids will be back in school (yay) and I will get back on schedule. Back on track. Quiet time first thing in the morning with my cup of coffee. Bible study. Journaling.

I’ve missed it. I thirst for it. I hate that I have separated myself from it. From Him.

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