On one of my regular reads this weekend, I ran across one of you amazing women that talked about a Lon Solomon sermon, “Ask and it Will be Given to You”, 5/22/05. I love Lon Solomon. He’s here in Virginia. I’ve not heard him/seen him preach in person, but I do regularly listen to his sermons.
I just have to tell you that I have really struggled with unbelief lately. Unbelief. Lack of faith. The whole stupid trust thing. It has become my number one pit. And I hate it. It makes my heart race. My stomach churn. Keeps me awake at night. Consumes my thoughts. That’s where I’ve been lately. Questioning, doubting, wondering what in the world is He doing?
So I took Lon at his word that God really does want us to ask Him. To be specific. To be honest. To just put it out there. So, I did. The particulars aren’t important. In the grand scheme of life, it is but a temporary moment thing. But it has consumed me lately and I had to tell Him about it and be open, repentant and sincere. Because really, although I try for my motives and my heart to be pure, I wasn’t even so sure they were for this particular request. And I told Him that, too. And then I made my request.
And He answered me. I knew it would be done. And I knew it would work out the way I requested it would.
And it did.
And I feel stupid and thankful and weepy all at the same time.
Because really, it was just a little thing as far as our journey here goes. But it meant the world to me and to others. And the best part is that…
I know, absolutely know, He did it for me. To build my faith. My trust. To help me overcome my unbelief.
And I feel so unworthy. That my God, Creator of the Universe, Lover of my soul, would be so involved and in complete control of a stupid little thing like this, in my life.
The best part is that, it wasn’t just for me and for this one little thing. It was for a lifetime.
If you doubt tonight that God does not love you and is not watching and in control of every minute thing in your life, I have to tell you that He is.