I have been gone. You didn’t realize it because I’ve hid it well. But if you really know me, you will have noticed that my posts recently haven’t mentioned a single reference to my God and Savior.
I really didn’t even know I was gone, truthfully. Oh, the signs were there, all right. The back pain. The comment from My Girl that included the words, “you” and “bipolar”. The unopened bible. The firmly closed journal. The sleepless nights. The confusion, anger, fatigue.
Yep. I was totally gone.
But I’m back now. I spent the last couple of weeks straightening up and redecorating My Pit. And it looked mah-va-lous! It really did. I changed it around a bit, spruced it up, and settled in for the long haul.
Lying in bed (deep down in my comfy, cozy pit), I finally looked at my surroundings and realized…
I had done it again.
Without even realizing it, I had dived headlong into The Pit again. I’m sure I just tested the waters a bit ago…stuck my big toe in and liked it. Before I knew it, I was completely submerged. I can clearly trace my path. The fog has now lifted and I can see the thoughts and actions laid out before me like a chocolate cookie line of temptation.
Thankfully, My God is Good! He gave me a little shake (okay, a big thump on the head) this morning. I think it was when I swirled around my brain the fact that I really didn’t think I was saved.
I was Doubting My Salvation.
Talk about a wake-up call!
So I did something that That Girl would never have done. I ran straight for my journal and my bible and begged for mercy, clarity and grace.
And, don’t ya know…I got it!
Oh, how I love His Word!
He led me straight to John and Philippians and a snippet of Hebrews.
As I read His Sweet, soothing Word, I could feel the pain, the anger, the fatigue leave my very soul and the light returned.
And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.
My Life Application Study Bible puts it Oh So Assuringly:
“Jesus said he would not lose even one person whom the Father had given him. Thus anyone who makes a sincere commitment to believe in Jesus Christ as Savior is secure in God’s promise of eternal life. Christ will not let his people be overcome by Satan and lose their salvation.”
I don’t know about y’all, but that pretty much seals the deal on my way of thinking.
Let’s hear a GLORY! out there from the Beth Moore Groupies!
It is so good to be Home again.