Wait…THIS is my life?

I think we’re wired (especially women) at an early age to be looking to the future.

“You’re too young…”
“When you’re older…”
“Someday, my prince will come…”
“When I graduate from high school (college) (vet school)…”
“When I get married…”
“When I am financially able to…”

You get the picture.

It dawned on me this morning during my quiet time that this IS my life. Living it. Doing it. This minute. This second. Not when I’m thinner, not when my house is clean (that might not ever happen). Right now.

And I’m missing it.

After this revelation, I got up and wandered through my house. What HAVE I been doing? I walked by the mirror (immediately recognizing what I HAVEN’T been doing). I flipped through my journals for the last couple of months. Moaning. Complaining. Worrying about things that never happened. Gripin’ about my man. Gripin’ about this child or that child of mine. Gripin’ about my weight (see mirror comment) and lack of energy (also related to mirror comment).

Attitude adjustment. Kick self in butt. Time to get moving. First step…back to the basics. Pulled out the journal and wrote out confession after confession after confession and what repentance would look like. I still have a lot of work to do…

And then I read about fellow-Christian-Blogger, Heather. I’m not sure how I found her on the Blog-net, but I know it was God-driven to find her. To get to know her through her blogging. To be a witness to the newest chapter in her life…an inoperable brain tumor. My heart has been heavy with prayer for her all day. Tonight I read some encouraging news from her. And I’m full of thanks and praise for the One Who Knows and Comforts and Heals. A long road is ahead of Heather and her family. I’m trying to imagine what living her life will mean from now on. It must mean an entirely different thing to her now. Today. Then it did two days ago. Before she knew. This is Heather’s life now.

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